YSK: There's an easy way to sound like a craquelure-obsessed weirdo if you don't have time to write a script and hand it to 50 news anchors.

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring_modulation

For best results, I recommend a frequency of 25 Hz and a wet level of about a third. No need to talk like a Dalek either–just use your natural voice.

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